Untamed’s “Goddamn Cheetah” Swiss Roll Cake

Untamed by Glennon Doyle
And a Cheetah Swiss Roll Cake

Let me start off with a disclaimer on this one: I “get” this book but something about it didn’t affect me in the way I think it was intended to. I’m very pro the main message of this memoir: that society teaches and forces women to conform and to ignore their inner desires and call it martyrdom or call it “being a good/proper woman.” I also believe that women should “sink” into themselves more and listen to their intuition, or their “knowing” as Doyle calls it. Maybe it was the style of writing that I didn’t connect to or the repetition of the same message throughout the book but it didn’t register as anything revolutionary or new. Maybe, perhaps, it was my years in Barnard College as an undergrad or my hyper independent mother being my guide through life but I felt like I’ve already received these messages in a way that’s resonated for me in a more meaningful sense. It’s just a story. And it’s uniquely her story, and that’s ok. 

I think a lot of women, especially those struggling with any addictions, feeling unfulfilled in their lives, questioning their parenting methods, feeling the pressure of gender roles, or feeling confined in their marriages, would benefit from reading her story. This feeling of discontent and the moment that a young women’s light is dulled is all too real, and something many women will read and nod their heads in agreement to. Mhmmm, yes, we’ve been there. If this story calls to you, please read it!

Final Recommendation:

Skip it!  /  ((Put it on your list!))  / Go read it now!

Despite this book and I not exactly vibing, I love that Doyle found love and is finally living her truth. I especially liked the prologue of the book and think the metaphor of women being like cheetahs in captivity is a good way to set the scene for this book’s message. So, I decided that the best food to capture this book is a cheetah Swiss roll, which proudly wears its spots on the outside. It is a bold cake but is actually rather easy to make. It has a similar wow factor to the cover art of this book!

Quote that inspired the recipe:

“I understand myself differently now. I was just a caged girl made for wide-open skies. I wasn’t crazy. I was a goddamn cheetah,” (5).

Glennon Doyle

A Goddamn Cheetah Swiss Roll Cake
Adapted from Kimberlycstar.com

Swiss Roll Ingredients:

  • 1 box of white cake mix
  • 6 large eggs
  • 1/4 cup sour cream
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 1/4 cup canola oil
  • Colored gel food coloring (I used pink, red, purple, blue and yellow)
  • 1 black gel food coloring

Swiss Roll How-to:

  1. *I don’t preheat my oven for this one until I step 6 but if you’re faster than me, preheat it to 350.*
  2. Crack your six large eggs into the bowl of your mixer. Beat them on medium for about 6 minutes so they become very well combined and very yellow.
  3. While your eggs are being beaten (lol), measure out your parchment paper to cover the entire bottom of an edged cookie sheet. I used a little spray of canola oil in each corner to make the parchment paper stick to the sheet flat. 
  4. SIFT your cake mix into the egg mixture. This is a CRITICAL MOVE (sorry for screaming) when using boxed cake because the lumps in it will not come out and will lead you to overbeat your batter or having little pockets of unmixed powder (ew). 
  5. Add in the sour cream, water, and canola oil. Beat for about 1 minute. If necessary, give it a few more mixes with a spatula or wooden spoon. 
  6. Take out about six small bowls (depending on the number of colors you want to use. Focus on the black batter first. You will need ½ cup for your black batter (mix about 2-3 drops of black gel coloring in it). Once you get the color you like, scoop the batter into a piping bag. I used the Wilton 4 tip with this. You could also use a plastic squeeze bottle if you prefer.
  7. Preheat your oven 🙂
  8. Create your black cheetah lines first. I looked at an online picture of cheetah stripes for a while and then just freehanded the same 3-4 designs all over. Put this into the fridge while you mix your colored batter. (Putting it in the fridge helps the pretty design you just made not get smushed or spread).
  9. Take about two tablespoons of plain batter for each of the colors. Mixx them in separate bowls. Take out the refrigerated sheet and use a toothpick to grab the batter and color in the dots on your cheetah print. (You could also use individual piping bags for this but that felt like a waste.) When you’re done, put this in the fridge for at least five minutes.   
  10. Scoop the plain batter into a piping bag (I did not use a tip) and cover the entire cookie sheet. Patch up any holes carefully and lightly with a rubber spatula. 
  11. Bake for 9-12 minutes. Again the test for “doneness” is touching the top and it bouncing back up to you. Then move quickly to the next step! We need the cake HOT for it to keep its form and not crack.
     

How to roll a swiss roll cake:

  1. Let your cake cool for about 2 minutes and take a piece of parchment paper about the size of your cookie sheet and sprinkle powdered sugar lightly over it. Get a clean kitchen towel ready.
  2. Tightly place the kitchen towel over the cake and invert it, allowing the cake to fall (very gently) onto the towel. Your cake will be facing the wrong way. Gently (VERY GENTLY) flip it over with the help of your towel and a guiding hand onto the prepared parchment paper. It should now be cheetah print side DOWN on the parchment.
  3. Arrange the cake so it is short side of the rectangle to you. Score a line with a knife about five inches from the edge of the cake, being careful not to cut through to the bottom. 
  4. Take the edge of the parchment paper and drape it over to your scored line. Roll the cake up tightly but gently with your parchment paper. Allow the cake to completely cool (about 1 hour) in this position. I sandwiched it between two bowls so it wouldn’t flatten. 
  5. Once cooled, carefully unroll and frost the inside of the cake. 
  6. Re-roll without the parchment paper this time and let set in the refrigerator for 2 hours to overnight. This is BEST when it has the time to set overnight.

Frosting Ingredients:

  • 2 sticks of unsalted butter (softened)
  • 4 cups of powdered sugar
  • 1-2 tablespoons of heavy cream (whole milk would also be ok, heavy cream tastes best)
  • Pinch of salt
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 1 cup of heavy cream

Frosting How-to:

  1. Put your softened butter in the bowl of a stand mixer on medium and beat until it is consistently creamy. This takes around 2-3 minutes. 
  2. Add the powdered’ sugar 1 cup at a time (trust me – you’ll have a mega mess on your hands if you try and put it all in at once). Once all combined, beat for about 2 minutes.
  3. Add the vanilla extract and then the 1-2 tablespoons of heavy cream (until you get a consistency you’re happy with). Beat again for about 2 minutes. 
  4. In a totally separate bowl (!!) put your 1 cup of heavy cream (and optional 2 tablespoons of sugar but I left this out) use the whisk attachment to your mixer to whip up this cream into…well….whipped cream. Beat it medium-high until it has stiff peaks. 
  5. Take your whipped cream and fold it into your vanilla frosting – and voila! 

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